I'm Sorry
by Darkness on the Horizon Leader
Summary: After Roxas' disappearance, Axel has time enough to reflect on everything he could've said to Roxas before he left. He also dwells on what his best friend might have thought about him in return. One-shot, Yaoi if you want it to be.


**I don't know where I got the idea. I just sat down and started writing out a list of things Axel might say to Roxas and...well, this happened. **

**Warning: Spoilers for Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days.**

**Enjoy :3  
><strong>

* * *

><p><em>I'm sorry, okay?<em>

_I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to you._

_Sorry for hurting you._

_Sorry for betraying you._

_I'm sorry for all those times I forgot to get your sea-salt ice cream for our daily routine...even though you forgot mine more than twice as often._

_I'm sorry I never told you about C.O...I couldn't, but is that really an excuse?_

_I'm sorry I never warned you about Xion...I barely understood myself._

_I'm sorry I sometimes stole your boxers when I forgot to wash mine. That was kind of creepy, looking back..._

_I'm sorry for that time when I stole the TV while you were in the bathroom and didn't give it back 'til my three-hour movie was over._

_I'm sorry for the times when I woke you up by dumping a bucket of cold water over your head. You always got back at me for that though...twofold._

_I'm sorry for that time when I attacked Xion and Xion attacked me. It must have killed you to see us fight._

_I'm sorry I never gave you a straight answer about who you were._

_I'm sorry I never warned you about...about them._

_I'm sorry for all the times I've burned you (metaphorically and literally speaking.)_

_I'm sorry for all the times I didn't play fair in Monopoly and stole some of your money when you weren't looking._

_I'm sorry I broke some of your CD's...but Jazz? Really?_

_I'm sorry I scratched your Lion King DVD. Darned chakrams..._

_I'm sorry for attacking you._

_I'm sorry for trying to drag you back to the Castle...when you obviously didn't want to go. Or didn't know you didn't want to go. I'm still a bit fuzzy on the whole "fake town" deal._

_I'm sorry I wasn't there when you went back to him._

_I'm sorry our last physical minutes together were spent staring each other down in that Kingdom Hearts-forsaken basement._

_I'm sorry that you'll never read this._

_I'm sorry that I waited so long._

_I'm sorry that it's too late to change, too late to go back and maybe do it over again..._

_I'm sorry we can't erase the past._

_I'm sorry we don't have a future._

_I'm sorry I never told you how much you meant to me._

_I'm sorry..._

_Got it...got it memorized, then?_

_I'm sorry...Roxas._

Axel sighed and placed the letter into its container. Pressing his thumb to it, he sealed the parcel and looked sadly down at the envelope, concealing all of the things he had never been able to tell his now-gone best friend, Roxas.

Number VIII stood and stretched, looking out the window at the ghostly moon known as Kingdom Hearts. With a pang of sadness he recalled how it had been Roxas who filled it so fully in the first place.

It had seemed so simple at first. He met the kid, took him under his wing, showed him the ropes...just something simple, right? Training a newbie?

That's what Axel had thought at first; that's what he had expected it to be like.

But no, he was surprised to find himself drawn to the boy. There was just something about his confused, naïve existence that made Axel feel protective of him. Of course, that was all _before..._

Before Axel went away to Castle Oblivion.

Before they became close to Xion.

Before he knew what Xion _was._

Before the Organization butted in.

With a sigh of burning resentment, Axel recalled how it had been the Organization behind all of this. And because of them, his best friend was _gone!_

He was so upset that he didn't even realize he had grabbed the envelope and was slowly burning it. He noticed and took his hand away, studying the envelope anxiously. The paper of the container had been singed away, but the letter on the inside was still unmarked.

Relieved for now, Axel took the letter and left his room. He followed the winding, twisting corridors down to where Roxas' room was and he let himself in; with no one there, it was unlocked.

He walked towards the bed and saw that it was gathering a fine layer of dust from so long without someone sleeping on it. Tucking the letter in his pocket, Axel patted the dust off of the bed and sat down, taking the letter out again.

With a sad smile, he pushed the letter underneath Roxas' pillow and stared at the spot for a moment, before he let the pillow fall without a sound. A tiny cloud of dust rose up from the pillow's descent but Axel waved it away.

"Rox...what did you think of me?" he murmured. With his past, he was anxious if his best friend had found him despicable or untrustworthy...but he could hardly find him and ask.

His work done, Axel stood up and moved towards the door. He turned around and briefly glanced at his friend's old room and, with reluctance, he flicked off the light.

Walking back towards his own quarters, his own, unanswered question ran through his mind.

_What did you think of me?_

Once he was back in the safety of his own room, he lay down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling for a long while, focusing on nothing but his own query.

_What did you think of me?_

"How did this happen?" he sighed.

He pushed himself up into a sitting position and looked out the window. But something on the sill caught his eye and his head dropped to where he could see it.

An envelope, it looked like.

Confused, Axel stood up and walked over. The envelope held a small coating of dust and he waved it off, before flipping it over to see the flap.

He pulled it open and reached in. To his surprise, his fingers closed around something small and wooden and he pulled it out, staring in amazement at what was in his hand.

An ice-cream stick.

And engraved into the wood, was the word "WINNER."


End file.
